Walter's gig is wild from the role playing to S&M outfits, he gets buzzed and really thinks he could do this especially cause she doesn't want sex. Everything is a blast for him till he looks at Mrs. Bartlett and for a split second he sees his wife instead of Bartlett. So that kills it for him but to keep it from being to somber...back at the apartment he's going over what happened with Amanda and he's taking off his jacket & tie then his dress shirt and he still has the S&M outfit on underneath. So we end on a laugh.
Amanda Walter Paul – Gay friend/Escort Mrs. Bartlett – Walter’s Client Steve – Amanda’s Client
INT. KITCHEN
Walter is going through the cupboards looking for food, slamming doors and drawers.
Amanda comes in annoyed by the noise. They argue about nothing being in the kitchen and its revealed they are both broke because their last pay hasn’t come in yet and they’ve either gone through their savings (Amanda) or money tied up in divorce (Walter).
Walter rushes into his room and comes back with a travel bag full of chips, nuts, mini sodas and liquor. Its not much so both stare depressed. Amanda reveals a secret compartment in the kitchen where she’s kept a few small airline dinners.
Walter is feels great and leaves the kitchen telling Amanda to call him when dinner is ready.
INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER
Paul, former flight attendant friend of Amanda’s, arrives decked out in Armani, shopping bags, jewelry, all the spoils of his new gig as an escort.
Paul eyes their dinner and gives them a hard time about the way they are living. He tells them all about his escort gig and shows them the agency website.
Amanda and Walter reject any notion. Walter assumes Paul is suggesting he be a gay escort. Paul informs him there are high-rolling ladies who will hire him too.
Secretly, Amanda and Walter both decide to get gigs as escorts.
Amanda’s guy is Steve and it's his first time getting an escort. For Steve, he thinks its supposed to be about romance and seducing Amanda. He gives her a single rose at their meeting and wants to have dinner with her. Amanda is surprised since she's not used to being wooed so extensively, even on a real date.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
Walter’s client Mrs. Bartlett is an old pro from Atlanta and top patron of the escort service. Walter shows up decked out in his Pilot's uniform, as requested. Mrs. Bartlett wants no frills and takes Walter immediately back to her room.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT
Steve orders champagne and tells Amanda she can order anything off the menu. Not having eaten anything substantial in weeks, she goes straight for the full steak dinner. Steve finds her very charming.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Mrs. Bartlett makes him role-play with her like a pilot. Walter is hesitant at first, but starts to let loose with a “sexy pilot” striptease. Mrs. Bartlett makes him talk to her in “dirty pilot speak” and he repeats to her what he says over the in-flight intercom.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT
Amanda and Steve are having a great conversation and are still at the restaurant while the staff cleans up around them. Amanda suddenly remembers she's being paid as an escort. She was enjoying herself so much she forgot what she was there to do. Amanda makes an awkward move on Steve and he nervously suggests they head up to his Hotel Room.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Walter’s wild sex role-playing romp with Mrs. Bartlett continues. Walter's gig is wild from the role-playing to S&M outfits; he gets buzzed and really thinks he could do this. As he declares, “your pilot is coming in for a landing,” he realizes Mrs. Bartlett has fallen asleep under him and is out cold. Figuring he was done for the night and getting off Scott-free, Walter grabs the money from the dresser, thinking this is the easiest $1000 he’s ever made. He might just have found a new job.
EXT. BEACH Amanda and Walter run into each other on their “walk of shame” back to the apartment. They quickly figure out what each other has been up to. Amanda starts crying though, saying she couldn't have sex with Steve, she liked him too much. She didn't take the money but left her phone number. Amanda thinks might have met someone really special but it might be ruined because of how they met. He tells Amanda he didn't have sex with Mrs. Bartlett either, she fell asleep. Walter is taking off his jacket & tie then his dress shirt and he still has the S&M outfit on underneath. So we end on a laugh. He tells Amanda he didn't have sex with Mrs. Bartlett either, she fell asleep.
REVISED OUTLINE: Escort episode, to be posted in parts.
CHARACTERS: Amanda Walter Paul – Gay friend/Escort: Armani wearing stylish sharp businessman. He’s a no nonsense sassy chameleon who can talk business like he’s pitching to Wall Street then flip his tone and camp it up when necessary. He can be frank about sexuality and is very up front and confrontational – not afraid to push people’s buttons. He uses his confidence and frankness to get the upper hand.
Mrs. Bartlett – Walter’s Client – Widowed Paula Dean-esque restauranteur from Atlanta and a regular client of Paul’s. She knows what she wants and takes a no prisoner attitude. She knows her money can buy her what ever she wants.
Steve – Amanda’s Client – He’s a Hugh Grant type character from ‘Notting Hill’, minus the accent. He’s made his money as a horror novel writer, the likes of Steven King type success. He’s shy and awkward when it comes to women but he’s very intuitive about them. He's a nice guy who never gets the girl.
Mrs. Wong – Bull dog of a woman that pretends not to speak much English but has been in the U.S. for 20 years. A true slumlord who only shows up to collect the rent and is physically intimidating and brutal.
STORY:
INT. KITCHEN Amanda and Walter are both broke because their last pay hasn’t come in yet and they’ve either gone through their savings (Amanda) or their money is tied up in divorce (Walter).
They go through the cupboards looking for food, slamming doors and drawers.
Walter rushes into his room and comes back with a travel bag full of chips, nuts, mini sodas and liquor. Its not much so both stare depressed. Amanda reveals a secret compartment in the kitchen where she’s kept a few small airline dinners and pulls them out. Walter barks orders to Amanda as if they are still on the plane. Amanda tells him off. She opens the dinners and they are moldy. She picks around the mold, looking for salvageable food.
INT. FRONT DOOR TO APARTMENT BANG, BANG, BANG on the front door.
The Landlord, Mrs. Wong, shows up wanting the $900 rent that’s 10 days late.
Walter hides in the kitchen while Amanda faces landlord at the door. Mrs. Wong yells at Amanda about the rent and threatens to evict. Amanda insults her and tries to shut the door. Mrs. Wong puts her foot in the door and demands that they get out. Things get more physical between them - pushing and shoving. Mrs. Wong tells Amanda that her and Walter have 24 hours to get out.
Amanda forces her out and slams the door.
INT. AMANDA’S BEDROOM Amanda scurries to her bedroom and calls her old flight attendant buddy, Paul, and asks him for a loan. Paul tells her he’ll be glad to help and will be right over.
INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER
Paul arrives decked out in Armani and expensive jewelry, shopping bags from Macy’s and Neiman Marcus. Paul tells Amanda that he doesn’t loan friends money but he has a proposition for her.
Amanda wants to know how he got all this money. Paul tells them he’s started an Escort business and its really taking off. He’s in desperate need for new escorts and wants to recruit Amanda for this special client Steve. Amanda refuses.
Walter's been eavesdropping and teams up with Paul to get Amanda to do this. Walter is saying that she’d be great at it considering all the men she goes out with anyway and now she can get paid.
Amanda is pissed at both of them for thinking she's easy. Paul is happy that Walter is so supportive because he has a client, Mrs. Bartlett, that he’s in desperate need for someone to take care of her. Walter is like “hell no” that’s not for me and then Amanda turns the tables and teams up with Paul to get Walter to do it. Paul insists that Escorting is not about the sex, it's about companionship.
The discussion gets heated and Amanda and Walter storm out to their respective rooms leaving Paul alone. Paul takes a few of his business cards and after writing instructions on the back and slips one under Walter’s door and one under Amanda’s. Paul then walks out.
INT. STEVE’S HOTEL ROOM Amanda comes down the hall of the hotel, dressed to the nines, to meet Steve at his hotel room. They have an awkward conversation and Steve serves up some Champagne and strawberries. Amanda puts the moves on Steve but through their awkwardness spills Champagne on him. Steve goes into the bathroom to change his shirt. Before he leaves the room he says, “…we should do this” or “let's get things going” (or something to that effect). Amanda takes it the wrong way and strips down to a teddy, plops into bed, takes a bite of the strawberry and chokes a bit.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM ENTRANCE. A man’s hand is knocking on the door. The door opens, Mrs. Bartlett in a bustier and see through open robe. From her POV we see Walter in his pilot’s uniform and a carry-on with a lock. She orders Walter in and Walter mentions that Paul asked him to bring her this carry-on. Mrs. Bartlett takes the carry-on from him and orders Walter to sit on the bed. Walter sits and she plops the carry on down next to him and unlocks the carry-on revealing S&M gear, a leather mask and harness.
INT. STEVE’S HOTEL ROOM Steve comes in and is shocked to find her undressed. He says they are to go to dinner but Amanda wants to get this over and tries awkwardly to seduce him. Steve insists she get dressed and steps out of the room. Amanda, worried, gets dressed. When Amanda emerges from the room, Steve takes her hand and escorts her down the hall. Amanda is confused about them not having sex and wonders where they are going.
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S HOTEL ROOM Mrs. Bartlett beckons very seductively from the bed while Walter is mixing drinks. He keeps gulping down shots and she’s orders him to do a strip for her. He’s getting buzzed and awkwardly getting into it. Mrs. Bartlett is whooping and hollering like a bachelorette party for one.
INT. RESTAURANT Amanda and Steve are at a table, Steve is nervously rambling on about himself and dating while Amanda is anxious and keeps checking her watch. She makes him uncomfortable by grabbing his leg and playing footsie. Steve gets more and more uncomfortable as Amanda keeps pushing herself onto him. She gets frustrated, so she takes advantage of the situation and orders the biggest most expensive meal and wine. Her behavior turns Steve off.
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM Mrs. Bartlett lays on the bed seductively whooping it up. Walter is wasted and in full S&M leather mask and harness dancing. Mrs. Bartlett orders Walter to come to bed and he’s reluctant. She commands that, “if you want to get paid, get your ass over here”. Walter slowly moves towards the bed.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR. STEVE’S ROOM Steve enters the room but stops Amanda. He decides to call it a night. She stands dumbfounded as he shuts the door
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM Walter climbs up onto the bed and on top of Mrs. Bartlett. However, she’s now passed out. In his drunken stupor, he hallucinates, and sees Mrs. Bartlett morph into Betty. Walter flies off the bed. Betty chastises him for what he’s doing and out of guilt; he grabs his clothes and runs out.
INT. THE APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM Amanda sits dazed drinking coffee and eating a bag of airline nuts. Walter comes in, in his pilot uniform and completely disheveled. Amanda comments about where he’s been but not wanting to admit to what either had been up to, Walter doesn't answer and they avoid each other.
Paul arrives to pay Walter and chastise Amanda. He reveals that they both did escort gigs for him, shocking both Amanda and Walter. Only Walter was successful though, and pays him $900. Amanda is fired for blowing the date. Before leaving, Paul reaches into Walter’s pants and unhooks the harness, yanking it off Walter.
Mrs. Wong, hearing voices from the apartment, shows up to collect. Amanda, pissed, grabs the cash from Walter and gives to Mrs. Wong and slams the door in her face. Mrs. Wong yells at Amanda anyway. Not in the mood, Amanda storms to her room and slams the door.
Being that the apartment complex is owned by the hotel next door, I would think Mrs. Wong would have to be a building manager or someone that works for the hotel rather than simply a landlord. Her function would still be the same I suppose, but being that she is employed by the hotel she probably has to present herself in a manner that reflects well upon the hotel at first. That isn't to say she can't lose her temper with Amanda.
I feel with Amanda we would need to see her in other dating situations in other episodes and see the type of guys she goes out with so this situation can feel new and strange to us as well, I think there needs to be some other conflict with Steve other than "oh no he is so nice to me!"
What happened to Steve being a cop? Even without that, why wouldn't Amanda get paid. Paul is a pimp and she went on a date with this guy. It's not like he's gonna let Paul off without paying. And the whole morphing into Betty thing really doesn't work now if Mrs. Bartlett is supposed to be some Paula-Dean lookalike. For what reason would Walter equate this woman with Betty? My biggest issue is that nothing happens to Amanda this episode. We could basically do this whole episode without ever showing her side of the story.
Thanks for the feedback! I wanted to make sure and respond to everything you guys said so...
Ed: Mrs. Wong came from what we talked about in class, for Walter and Amanda to be more active with their situation and have an immediate problem that needs solving right away. I see what you mean with her being a hotel employee and needing to present herself in a more controlled way. But I think she has to be a bulldog in this situation, otherwise I don't think the motivation is there for Amanda and Walter to get jobs as Escorts. If it's not working for you though, do you think we don't need to add in Mrs. Wong or is there another way to force them to get money that night?
Christina: Very true. I feel like this episode would fall later in the series so hopefully that comparison would be there, like with Robert and Gabriel's script and possibly other moments in the series. They certainly wouldn't jump to being escorts off the bat, so we would have to see them try a lot of other different things in other episodes to understand the desperate point they are at. We also want to establish her relationships through dialogue as well and the way Amanda reacts to Steve - it's not how Amanda is normally treated by men. I see what you mean by her needing some other conflict, but because Walter's conflict is so external, David and I wanted to work with her having an internal conflict where she is emotionally effected. It's hard to convey that throughly in an outline, I think.
George: We talked about it, but ultimately decided against Steve being a cop because there was already so much going on in the episode. It felt like too much and we really wanted to deal with an emotional, internal conflict with Amanda instead of it being dictated by elements out of her control. If Steve just rejected Amanda because he didn't like her as opposed to him being law enforcement, it forced her to face what she did wrong and maybe always does wrong. It turns into a self-evaluation instead of her being able to blame it on him being a cop. She didn't get paid because Steve had a bad time and refused to pay Paul.
I see what you're saying about how it would be weird physically for Mrs. Bartlett to morph into Betty. But Walter is so drunk at that point, and he hallucinates about making love with Betty in the past. He's never been in bed with another woman besides Betty so I think anyone could be in the bed, it's more him realizing he's about to sleep with another woman for the first time. And having the vision of Betty chastising him for what he's about to do spooks him enough to make him run out of the room. Reading the outline again, I don't think we made this quite clear, but Mrs. Bartlett already paid for his escorting services, having sex with her is extra. He does get paid for the first part, which is just enough to cover rent after Paul takes his cut. So yes, he does blow it, but only partially.
For Amanda, her conflict is internal and Walter's is external so it's true, nothing physically happens to Amanda, but we wanted to work with writing an emotional change in a character. Maybe this isn't coming across clear enough in the outline? David and I talked a lot about Amanda's arc in this story and we'd be happy to try and explain it more in class. Do you have any suggestions about how we could make her emotional conflict clearer and make more of an impact in this episode?
I completely agree the Mrs. Wong can and should go after them for the money, but being a hotel employee she is in customer service. She would most likely be nice at first, maybe even to the point of jumping through hoops to try and help Amanda till Mrs. Wong loses it and then the gloves are off. Unless this is a regular thing with Amanda and Mrs. Wong, in which case we should look into setting up Mrs. Wong character in another episode. I don't know how everyone else would feel about that though.
Maybe Amanda blows Mrs. Wong off at first and then Mrs. Wong retaliates. Or Maybe Amanda wrote the check and sent it in already but this is the second check in a row to bounce.
Thanks everyone for a great class and I can't wait to read everyone's outlines!
ReplyDeleteDavid and I will be refining our outline we did in class tomorrow and hope to have the full version posted on Wednesday.
Walter's gig is wild from the role playing to S&M outfits, he gets buzzed and really thinks he could do this especially cause she doesn't want sex. Everything is a blast for him till he looks at Mrs. Bartlett and for a split second he sees his wife instead of Bartlett. So that kills it for him but to keep it from being to somber...back at the apartment he's going over what happened with Amanda and he's taking off his jacket & tie then his dress shirt and he still has the S&M outfit on underneath. So we end on a laugh.
ReplyDeleteAmanda
ReplyDeleteWalter
Paul – Gay friend/Escort
Mrs. Bartlett – Walter’s Client
Steve – Amanda’s Client
INT. KITCHEN
Walter is going through the cupboards looking for food, slamming doors and drawers.
Amanda comes in annoyed by the noise. They argue about nothing being in the kitchen and its revealed they are both broke because their last pay hasn’t come in yet and they’ve either gone through their savings (Amanda) or money tied up in divorce (Walter).
Walter rushes into his room and comes back with a travel bag full of chips, nuts, mini sodas and liquor. Its not much so both stare depressed. Amanda reveals a secret compartment in the kitchen where she’s kept a few small airline dinners.
Walter is feels great and leaves the kitchen telling Amanda to call him when dinner is ready.
INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER
Paul, former flight attendant friend of Amanda’s, arrives decked out in Armani, shopping bags, jewelry, all the spoils of his new gig as an escort.
Paul eyes their dinner and gives them a hard time about the way they are living. He tells them all about his escort gig and shows them the agency website.
Amanda and Walter reject any notion. Walter assumes Paul is suggesting he be a gay escort. Paul informs him there are high-rolling ladies who will hire him too.
Secretly, Amanda and Walter both decide to get gigs as escorts.
Escort Outline cont.
ReplyDeleteINT. HOTEL RESTAURANT
Amanda’s guy is Steve and it's his first time getting an escort. For Steve, he thinks its supposed to be about romance and seducing Amanda. He gives her a single rose at their meeting and wants to have dinner with her. Amanda is surprised since she's not used to being wooed so extensively, even on a real date.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY
Walter’s client Mrs. Bartlett is an old pro from Atlanta and top patron of the escort service. Walter shows up decked out in his Pilot's uniform, as requested. Mrs. Bartlett wants no frills and takes Walter immediately back to her room.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT
Steve orders champagne and tells Amanda she can order anything off the menu. Not having eaten anything substantial in weeks, she goes straight for the full steak dinner. Steve finds her very charming.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Mrs. Bartlett makes him role-play with her like a pilot. Walter is hesitant at first, but starts to let loose with a “sexy pilot” striptease. Mrs. Bartlett makes him talk to her in “dirty pilot speak” and he repeats to her what he says over the in-flight intercom.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT
Amanda and Steve are having a great conversation and are still at the restaurant while the staff cleans up around them. Amanda suddenly remembers she's being paid as an escort. She was enjoying herself so much she forgot what she was there to do. Amanda makes an awkward move on Steve and he nervously suggests they head up to his Hotel Room.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Walter’s wild sex role-playing romp with Mrs. Bartlett continues. Walter's gig is wild from the role-playing to S&M outfits; he gets buzzed and really thinks he could do this. As he declares, “your pilot is coming in for a landing,” he realizes Mrs. Bartlett has fallen asleep under him and is out cold. Figuring he was done for the night and getting off Scott-free, Walter grabs the money from the dresser, thinking this is the easiest $1000 he’s ever made. He might just have found a new job.
EXT. BEACH
Amanda and Walter run into each other on their “walk of shame” back to the apartment. They quickly figure out what each other has been up to. Amanda starts crying though, saying she couldn't have sex with Steve, she liked him too much. She didn't take the money but left her phone number. Amanda thinks might have met someone really special but it might be ruined because of how they met. He tells Amanda he didn't have sex with Mrs. Bartlett either, she fell asleep. Walter is taking off his jacket & tie then his dress shirt and he still has the S&M outfit on underneath. So we end on a laugh. He tells Amanda he didn't have sex with Mrs. Bartlett either, she fell asleep.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteREVISED OUTLINE: Escort episode, to be posted in parts.
ReplyDeleteCHARACTERS:
Amanda
Walter
Paul – Gay friend/Escort: Armani wearing stylish sharp businessman. He’s a no nonsense sassy chameleon who can talk business like he’s pitching to Wall Street then flip his tone and camp it up when necessary. He can be frank about sexuality and is very up front and confrontational – not afraid to push people’s buttons. He uses his confidence and frankness to get the upper hand.
Mrs. Bartlett – Walter’s Client – Widowed Paula Dean-esque restauranteur from Atlanta and a regular client of Paul’s. She knows what she wants and takes a no prisoner attitude. She knows her money can buy her what ever she wants.
Steve – Amanda’s Client – He’s a Hugh Grant type character from ‘Notting Hill’, minus the accent. He’s made his money as a horror novel writer, the likes of Steven King type success. He’s shy and awkward when it comes to women but he’s very intuitive about them. He's a nice guy who never gets the girl.
Mrs. Wong – Bull dog of a woman that pretends not to speak much English but has been in the U.S. for 20 years. A true slumlord who only shows up to collect the rent and is physically intimidating and brutal.
STORY:
INT. KITCHEN
Amanda and Walter are both broke because their last pay hasn’t come in yet and they’ve either gone through their savings (Amanda) or their money is tied up in divorce (Walter).
They go through the cupboards looking for food, slamming doors and drawers.
Walter rushes into his room and comes back with a travel bag full of chips, nuts, mini sodas and liquor. Its not much so both stare depressed. Amanda reveals a secret compartment in the kitchen where she’s kept a few small airline dinners and pulls them out. Walter barks orders to Amanda as if they are still on the plane. Amanda tells him off. She opens the dinners and they are moldy. She picks around the mold, looking for salvageable food.
INT. FRONT DOOR TO APARTMENT
ReplyDeleteBANG, BANG, BANG on the front door.
The Landlord, Mrs. Wong, shows up wanting the $900 rent that’s 10 days late.
Walter hides in the kitchen while Amanda faces landlord at the door. Mrs. Wong yells at Amanda about the rent and threatens to evict. Amanda insults her and tries to shut the door. Mrs. Wong puts her foot in the door and demands that they get out. Things get more physical between them - pushing and shoving. Mrs. Wong tells Amanda that her and Walter have 24 hours to get out.
Amanda forces her out and slams the door.
INT. AMANDA’S BEDROOM
Amanda scurries to her bedroom and calls her old flight attendant buddy, Paul, and asks him for a loan. Paul tells her he’ll be glad to help and will be right over.
INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER
Paul arrives decked out in Armani and expensive jewelry, shopping bags from Macy’s and Neiman Marcus. Paul tells Amanda that he doesn’t loan friends money but he has a proposition for her.
Amanda wants to know how he got all this money. Paul tells them he’s started an Escort business and its really taking off. He’s in desperate need for new escorts and wants to recruit Amanda for this special client Steve. Amanda refuses.
Walter's been eavesdropping and teams up with Paul to get Amanda to do this. Walter is saying that she’d be great at it considering all the men she goes out with anyway and now she can get paid.
Amanda is pissed at both of them for thinking she's easy. Paul is happy that Walter is so supportive because he has a client, Mrs. Bartlett, that he’s in desperate need for someone to take care of her. Walter is like “hell no” that’s not for me and then Amanda turns the tables and teams up with Paul to get Walter to do it. Paul insists that Escorting is not about the sex, it's about companionship.
The discussion gets heated and Amanda and Walter storm out to their respective rooms leaving Paul alone. Paul takes a few of his business cards and after writing instructions on the back and slips one under Walter’s door and one under Amanda’s. Paul then walks out.
INT. STEVE’S HOTEL ROOM
ReplyDeleteAmanda comes down the hall of the hotel, dressed to the nines, to meet Steve at his hotel room. They have an awkward conversation and Steve serves up some Champagne and strawberries. Amanda puts the moves on Steve but through their awkwardness spills Champagne on him. Steve goes into the bathroom to change his shirt. Before he leaves the room he says, “…we should do this” or “let's get things going” (or something to that effect). Amanda takes it the wrong way and strips down to a teddy, plops into bed, takes a bite of the strawberry and chokes a bit.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM ENTRANCE.
A man’s hand is knocking on the door. The door opens, Mrs. Bartlett in a bustier and see through open robe. From her POV we see Walter in his pilot’s uniform and a carry-on with a lock. She orders Walter in and Walter mentions that Paul asked him to bring her this carry-on. Mrs. Bartlett takes the carry-on from him and orders Walter to sit on the bed. Walter sits and she plops the carry on down next to him and unlocks the carry-on revealing S&M gear, a leather mask and harness.
INT. STEVE’S HOTEL ROOM
Steve comes in and is shocked to find her undressed. He says they are to go to dinner but Amanda wants to get this over and tries awkwardly to seduce him. Steve insists she get dressed and steps out of the room. Amanda, worried, gets dressed. When Amanda emerges from the room, Steve takes her hand and escorts her down the hall. Amanda is confused about them not having sex and wonders where they are going.
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S HOTEL ROOM
Mrs. Bartlett beckons very seductively from the bed while Walter is mixing drinks. He keeps gulping down shots and she’s orders him to do a strip for her. He’s getting buzzed and awkwardly getting into it. Mrs. Bartlett is whooping and hollering like a bachelorette party for one.
INT. RESTAURANT
Amanda and Steve are at a table, Steve is nervously rambling on about himself and dating while Amanda is anxious and keeps checking her watch. She makes him uncomfortable by grabbing his leg and playing footsie. Steve gets more and more uncomfortable as Amanda keeps pushing herself onto him. She gets frustrated, so she takes advantage of the situation and orders the biggest most expensive meal and wine. Her behavior turns Steve off.
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM
Mrs. Bartlett lays on the bed seductively whooping it up. Walter is wasted and in full S&M leather mask and harness dancing. Mrs. Bartlett orders Walter to come to bed and he’s reluctant. She commands that, “if you want to get paid, get your ass over here”. Walter slowly moves towards the bed.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR. STEVE’S ROOM
Steve enters the room but stops Amanda. He decides to call it a night. She stands dumbfounded as he shuts the door
INT. MRS. BARTLETT’S ROOM
ReplyDeleteWalter climbs up onto the bed and on top of Mrs. Bartlett. However, she’s now passed out. In his drunken stupor, he hallucinates, and sees Mrs. Bartlett morph into Betty. Walter flies off the bed. Betty chastises him for what he’s doing and out of guilt; he grabs his clothes and runs out.
INT. THE APARTMENT. LIVING ROOM
Amanda sits dazed drinking coffee and eating a bag of airline nuts. Walter comes in, in his pilot uniform and completely disheveled. Amanda comments about where he’s been but not wanting to admit to what either had been up to, Walter doesn't answer and they avoid each other.
Paul arrives to pay Walter and chastise Amanda. He reveals that they both did escort gigs for him, shocking both Amanda and Walter. Only Walter was successful though, and pays him $900. Amanda is fired for blowing the date. Before leaving, Paul reaches into Walter’s pants and unhooks the harness, yanking it off Walter.
Mrs. Wong, hearing voices from the apartment, shows up to collect. Amanda, pissed, grabs the cash from Walter and gives to Mrs. Wong and slams the door in her face. Mrs. Wong yells at Amanda anyway. Not in the mood, Amanda storms to her room and slams the door.
FADE OUT
Being that the apartment complex is owned by the hotel next door, I would think Mrs. Wong would have to be a building manager or someone that works for the hotel rather than simply a landlord. Her function would still be the same I suppose, but being that she is employed by the hotel she probably has to present herself in a manner that reflects well upon the hotel at first. That isn't to say she can't lose her temper with Amanda.
ReplyDeleteI feel with Amanda we would need to see her in other dating situations in other episodes and see the type of guys she goes out with so this situation can feel new and strange to us as well, I think there needs to be some other conflict with Steve other than "oh no he is so nice to me!"
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to Steve being a cop? Even without that, why wouldn't Amanda get paid. Paul is a pimp and she went on a date with this guy. It's not like he's gonna let Paul off without paying. And the whole morphing into Betty thing really doesn't work now if Mrs. Bartlett is supposed to be some Paula-Dean lookalike. For what reason would Walter equate this woman with Betty? My biggest issue is that nothing happens to Amanda this episode. We could basically do this whole episode without ever showing her side of the story.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing, doesn't Walter essentially blow his date by walking out?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback! I wanted to make sure and respond to everything you guys said so...
ReplyDeleteEd: Mrs. Wong came from what we talked about in class, for Walter and Amanda to be more active with their situation and have an immediate problem that needs solving right away. I see what you mean with her being a hotel employee and needing to present herself in a more controlled way. But I think she has to be a bulldog in this situation, otherwise I don't think the motivation is there for Amanda and Walter to get jobs as Escorts. If it's not working for you though, do you think we don't need to add in Mrs. Wong or is there another way to force them to get money that night?
Christina: Very true. I feel like this episode would fall later in the series so hopefully that comparison would be there, like with Robert and Gabriel's script and possibly other moments in the series. They certainly wouldn't jump to being escorts off the bat, so we would have to see them try a lot of other different things in other episodes to understand the desperate point they are at. We also want to establish her relationships through dialogue as well and the way Amanda reacts to Steve - it's not how Amanda is normally treated by men. I see what you mean by her needing some other conflict, but because Walter's conflict is so external, David and I wanted to work with her having an internal conflict where she is emotionally effected. It's hard to convey that throughly in an outline, I think.
George: We talked about it, but ultimately decided against Steve being a cop because there was already so much going on in the episode. It felt like too much and we really wanted to deal with an emotional, internal conflict with Amanda instead of it being dictated by elements out of her control. If Steve just rejected Amanda because he didn't like her as opposed to him being law enforcement, it forced her to face what she did wrong and maybe always does wrong. It turns into a self-evaluation instead of her being able to blame it on him being a cop. She didn't get paid because Steve had a bad time and refused to pay Paul.
I see what you're saying about how it would be weird physically for Mrs. Bartlett to morph into Betty. But Walter is so drunk at that point, and he hallucinates about making love with Betty in the past. He's never been in bed with another woman besides Betty so I think anyone could be in the bed, it's more him realizing he's about to sleep with another woman for the first time. And having the vision of Betty chastising him for what he's about to do spooks him enough to make him run out of the room. Reading the outline again, I don't think we made this quite clear, but Mrs. Bartlett already paid for his escorting services, having sex with her is extra. He does get paid for the first part, which is just enough to cover rent after Paul takes his cut. So yes, he does blow it, but only partially.
For Amanda, her conflict is internal and Walter's is external so it's true, nothing physically happens to Amanda, but we wanted to work with writing an emotional change in a character. Maybe this isn't coming across clear enough in the outline? David and I talked a lot about Amanda's arc in this story and we'd be happy to try and explain it more in class. Do you have any suggestions about how we could make her emotional conflict clearer and make more of an impact in this episode?
I completely agree the Mrs. Wong can and should go after them for the money, but being a hotel employee she is in customer service. She would most likely be nice at first, maybe even to the point of jumping through hoops to try and help Amanda till Mrs. Wong loses it and then the gloves are off. Unless this is a regular thing with Amanda and Mrs. Wong, in which case we should look into setting up Mrs. Wong character in another episode. I don't know how everyone else would feel about that though.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Amanda blows Mrs. Wong off at first and then Mrs. Wong retaliates. Or Maybe Amanda wrote the check and sent it in already but this is the second check in a row to bounce.