Take the elements we talked about and continue to flesh out the story until we have a well worked out, detailed outline.
Walter, the F.O. (First Officer) gets together with Dirk, the captain he flew with.
Dirk is Walter's hero. Dirk tolerates Walter.
Amanda tries to fix Walter up with women to help him move on after his wife, Betty, filed for divorce.
Walter commiserates with Dirk, drinking at the bar.
Dirk tells Walter he got another job – flying corporate.
Walter, desperate to get back to work, asks Dirk to help him get a job.
Amanda’s friend shows up at bar. She's gorgeous.
Walter is pissed that his time with Dirk has been interrupted.
He told Amanda he wasn't ready to start dating. He's still grieving.
Dirk perks up when he sees Amanda's friend.
He tells Walter he needs a place to crash.
Amanda sees that Walter brings Dirk home instead of the girl. Amanda is pissed.
Dirk now plays it like he's Walter’s best friend - but it's just to be around the girls, not Walter.
After Walter keeps pushing Dirk to help him get a job, Dirk finally explodes, revealing that he doesn't have a job.
(His ego wouldn't let him admit to anyone that he wasn't working.)
Dirk winds up with the girl Amanda tried fixing Walter up with.
The girl’s father owns a huge company.
Dirk gets a corporate flying job through the girl.
Amanda was trying to help Walter, but her efforts wind up helping Dirk instead.
Walter loses the job opportunity and his hero.
Again, Walter is pissed at Amanda for breaking up another one of his relationships.
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in regards to time we can easily do a montage of moments at the bar when things are happening, no dialogue would be necessary or at least very little.
ReplyDeleteWhat about if Amanda and Walter go on a double date with friends of Amanda and Kirk ends up stealing Walter's date?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of if after the date the four end up back at the crash pad. Amanda can take Walter into the kitchen or bathroom and give him a talking about how the other women is his ticket to another job and he needs to move on, but when they go back into the living room Dirk and Walter's date are no where to be found. Amanda's door is closed and all they hear coming from the room is "Oh captain, My captain."
ReplyDeleteLOL! I like that!
ReplyDeleteI like that too, Ed! It really drives home what Walter missed out on. What if they went into Walter's broom closet instead of Amanda's, to further deepen the blow?
ReplyDeleteWalter's room would put Walter even lower, but separates him from Amanda. If it is Walter's room Amanda could go to her room and leave him.
ReplyDeleteWe could play it either way.
walter could wake up the next morning on the kitchen counter. I like the way the story moves into his room since it was the last space that was "his" own.
ReplyDeleteI think the scene could be more powerful if its just Walter and Amanda back at the apartment. We would be able to only rely on how their relationship is affected by what just happened.
ReplyDeleteI like this idea with the Captain but after reading other story ideas there seems to be a lot of other characters being brought in. Not that this is necessarily a problem but I think we need to focus more on the Two main characters. There are a ton of episodes we can do just on their conflicts alone. I'm wondering if we need to do more work on character to make everyone more secure in writing for the TWO characters.
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good point, David. Are you thinking we should put this story on the backburner for now and just focus on the development of Walter and Amanda? Or go forward with this episode, but not adding a third character in the future unless we really have to?
ReplyDeleteOr, another thought. Maybe we keep putting in third characters because Walter and Amanda not only have lost control in this situation with their jobs and apartment, but it happens in every aspect of their lives. With what we've worked out so far, Walter has no control in his relationship with his wife and Dirk is a douche, but this guy is his best friend. Then story ideas with Amanda's people tend to be out of control and bad influences. So maybe that they are the same in that way? That they surround themselves with the same kind of bad people for them and it ends up wrecking their lives?
ReplyDeleteSo back to David's original question, do we need the third characters to tell the stories? (And would they show up in most of our episodes?) Or is there another way to show this with just the two of them?
When Walter and Dirk part ways it needs to be really awkward, like a non mutual break up.
ReplyDeleteI think this episode could show our Walter and Amanda's character. It would be revealed in their conflict with Dirk and the Amanda's friend.
At Danielle's comment: funny. We could always make his space not his. It would be a good running joke.
ReplyDeletewho is macncheese?
ReplyDelete