Hey Christina, you all did a great job on this. The beginning is great with so much more about who Walter is. Here's the quote from Delassandro about the Pilot of a series, "The end of a pilot should be the beginning of the series. The ending should lead you to the series." I hope this helps.
This definitely gets better with each draft and it's shaping up to be a very strong Pilot! It's consistently funny because the situations you put them in are real but comedic, which is not an easy thing to pull off.
I think there almost needs to be more of them reacting to the airline going under. I talked to a lawyer who dealt with an airline going under, recently. He said what happens is the airline has their lawyers get all the paperwork together over the weekend. And then when the courts open on Monday, they file at 8am and the airline shuts down that day. Walter, Amanda and all the employees would be completely blindsided by this. And if the airline files for bankruptcy, they also would not get their last paycheck.
So if that's what happened to the airline, the Pilot likely starts that night after they found out they lost their jobs, the company they work for no longer exists, and they won't be getting paid for their last week or so of work. They wouldn't be able to get out of Miami because all planes for that company would be grounded. And if they aren't giving them their paychecks, they won't pay for a flight home for their employees either. Walter and Amanda may not expect to have to be stuck together, since it's not likely they land at the same city at the same time when the airline goes under, but they do.
I think David's right, the ending should have more of a, oh my god I can't believe I'm stuck with you and without a job, feeling. It sets up the whole show that these two are going to butt heads. Maybe Walter can instead ask Amanda for a pillow and blanket, but she tells him to get it himself. Or something like that. Where even though they live together, they are barely tolerating it.
Hey Christina, you all did a great job on this. The beginning is great with so much more about who Walter is. Here's the quote from Delassandro about the Pilot of a series, "The end of a pilot should be the beginning of the series. The ending should lead you to the series." I hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteThis definitely gets better with each draft and it's shaping up to be a very strong Pilot! It's consistently funny because the situations you put them in are real but comedic, which is not an easy thing to pull off.
ReplyDeleteI think there almost needs to be more of them reacting to the airline going under. I talked to a lawyer who dealt with an airline going under, recently. He said what happens is the airline has their lawyers get all the paperwork together over the weekend. And then when the courts open on Monday, they file at 8am and the airline shuts down that day. Walter, Amanda and all the employees would be completely blindsided by this. And if the airline files for bankruptcy, they also would not get their last paycheck.
So if that's what happened to the airline, the Pilot likely starts that night after they found out they lost their jobs, the company they work for no longer exists, and they won't be getting paid for their last week or so of work. They wouldn't be able to get out of Miami because all planes for that company would be grounded. And if they aren't giving them their paychecks, they won't pay for a flight home for their employees either. Walter and Amanda may not expect to have to be stuck together, since it's not likely they land at the same city at the same time when the airline goes under, but they do.
I think David's right, the ending should have more of a, oh my god I can't believe I'm stuck with you and without a job, feeling. It sets up the whole show that these two are going to butt heads. Maybe Walter can instead ask Amanda for a pillow and blanket, but she tells him to get it himself. Or something like that. Where even though they live together, they are barely tolerating it.
Having Walter hang up on Betty was awesome!
ReplyDelete