Well as they say I got in late and got our early...or at the same time as last time. Anyway I got Tillie down to one page by just getting right to it. Let me know what you think. I'll email out the scene so post here what you think.
LOL @ your last line! Good luck, hope it's not too brutal.
I like the new version of the Tillie scene, much stronger at one-page, like we talked about with the scene originally. Writing out the longer version was good though because then you can take the best elements from all the drafts and make it killer.
Starting the music off the bat works well and gets you in earlier, like you said. I think it will make it even funnier when it's shot and edited so the lyrics really punch out what's going on.
It's so awkward and I think that's great. Walter no longer says he's embarrassed, he just is.
Just two nit-picky notes on the action lines:
When Tillie gulps the Vodka, it's not completely obvious that it's her. Maybe make it: Tillie GULPS the Vodka, WHACKS Walter's ass.
Add a period after BRA.
But other than that, it's looking great. What do you guys think?
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Well as they say I got in late and got our early...or at the same time as last time. Anyway I got Tillie down to one page by just getting right to it. Let me know what you think. I'll email out the scene so post here what you think.
ReplyDeleteI'm off now to kill off the Golden Girls.
LOL @ your last line! Good luck, hope it's not too brutal.
ReplyDeleteI like the new version of the Tillie scene, much stronger at one-page, like we talked about with the scene originally. Writing out the longer version was good though because then you can take the best elements from all the drafts and make it killer.
Starting the music off the bat works well and gets you in earlier, like you said. I think it will make it even funnier when it's shot and edited so the lyrics really punch out what's going on.
It's so awkward and I think that's great. Walter no longer says he's embarrassed, he just is.
Just two nit-picky notes on the action lines:
When Tillie gulps the Vodka, it's not completely obvious that it's her. Maybe make it: Tillie GULPS the Vodka, WHACKS Walter's ass.
Add a period after BRA.
But other than that, it's looking great. What do you guys think?
cool, thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteHi I visit your blogs and read your content. It is very nice service. The Female escort service need of any modern human. I am very impressed your services.
ReplyDelete